Fire!

Once upon a time, I was a bright eyed, 22 year old, brand new teacher. I started my career as a bilingual special education teacher in the Bronx. It was a Junior high school and my class consisted of 8 kids, 7-9th grade. I was their main teacher and taught them everything except for ESL. Everyone thought I was crazy: the kids had learning disabilities, and emotional disabilities. One was mildly retarded.That was the correct term  at the time.

I had just been hired in a talent search they did in Puerto Rico. I had not even graduated yet. But, I was enchanted with the possibility of making a difference. And, I came to New York.

I only had a minor in education. My degree was in English Literature. I walked in the first day, was introduced to the staff, and then sent along to prepare my classroom. I was assigned a coach  who was extremely helpful and who presented me with every possible resource I could wish for. I was the only bilingual sped teacher so I was sent on trainings and professional developments all the time.

The classroom was fully loaded with science and math kits, brand new encyclopedias, I even was given an Apple computer complete with printer. It was wonderful and yet a bit overwhelming.

My first observation by the sped assistant principal was a failure. I had so much in the classroom that I used it all at once. I had never planned a lesson so I thought the more the better.

At the post observation meeting, the AP went over everything and helped me put together a lesson plan. She wasn't critical, she was helpful. She didn't tear me down, she built me up. To prove her point she told me she wanted me to teach a Spanish class to emotionally disturbed students. I didn't think it would be a good idea considering what she had just witnessed in my classroom.

She smiled and sweetly said, "You have the one thing that I cannot teach you. You are a teacher. It comes to you naturally."

This was 1987. By 1989, the Bilingual program at the district was phased out and I wondered what I would do. There was no need for me at this school. The principal called me into his office and I knew he would be giving me the sad news. Instead, he offered me a job for the following school year. He wanted me in the mainstream classes teaching Spanish. I was surprised and thanked him. He smiled, "I have no intentions of letting you go. You are one of my best teachers. I like your fire!"

I miss those days. You could be yourself and be creative. You could set ground rules and routines without being scrutinized. Where there were deficiencies, we would be trained. The kids learned and going to work was not work.

I can't get out of bed anymore.

Need to Pause History

I need to vent so I won't be posting past events today. Past couple of weeks have been really difficult. The principal has "invited" me to her office 7 times in the last 2 weeks.

She brought up a lateness to circular 6 of ten minutes. I was storing the laptop computers and I was late. Then, she questioned my absence at the faculty meeting. I had already spoken to the AP and explained that I had to take care of an issue at home. He said that I should go and take care of things. She claimed I told no one in the presence of the AP. I looked at him and said,"Did you not let her know?" He put his head down and did not answer.

Next, she wanted to know why I don't meet with the literature coach on a weekly basis. I reminded her that he was working on units and mine were all done. "We talked about this before."
She went on, "He said you told him I had said you did not need to attend. Did you say that?"
"Yes I did."
She "seemed" to forget our conversation about a month before where I said that I was entitled to a preparation period to work on my lessons. She couldn't argue this and said, I didn't have to attend.

Another day I was called in for having told one of her favorite teachers that he had snitched on me, which he had. I left the computer cart open while I went to get my lunch. There were three adults in the room when I did this. I said it jokingly but fully aware of what I was saying. Well, he proved me right. He ran to her and told on me about the statement.

By the way, this man doesn't even write lesson plans. But, he is good at getting money for the school through grants and she loves him for it. He should have received an ineffective last June, but he didn't. Yet, teachers who are killing themselves trying to meet the Danielson rubric are being micromanaged and not given any slack considering this is a highly unattainable rubric. We get no training on it.

Finally, I just received another "invitation" about having written an unprofessional email. I have no clue what this is about. I will find out on Monday!
I can't remember the others because they all kind of blend in together.

To make matters worse, for the first time in three years, I received my preference. I was teaching 9th grade English. I worked with a Sped teacher in two of the classes and we did a great job. The freshmen this year are all ones and twos. Well, we got them writing essays quickly and well. Out of the three classes I taught, all but a few completed both essays, an argumentative with counterclaim and a compare/contrast. They scored high twos, and threes and fours.

So, to show her appreciation for the work we did, she took the ninth grade from me and threw me into the 10th grade. She left the Sped teacher.

In the beginning of the year, she assigned a Teach for America newbie to the 10th grade and the other teacher who had the 10th was placed to teach filler classes that count as Art. (We are a small school and the Art teacher ran for his life because she treated him like trash.)
Since the TFA had no classroom management skills, the kids walked all over her. She realized her mistake.
Always looking for what makes sense to her instead of what makes sense for the kids, she changed three of us around and created instability in the school. The kids spent the last three days rebelling over the changes and begging for things to go back to where they were.

Of course, I grieved it for several reasons including how educationally unsound the changes were and the fact that I am the most senior teacher.

Of course, she denied the grievance.
So, it is December 6 and I am once again learning names, learning student strengths and weaknesses. I am decorating another classroom and trying to manage a new load of students who are angry and resentful.
Oh, and now I also need to establish a new routine with the other Sped teacher. I have never worked with her before.

Let's see what else she has in store for me.

The Beginning

Rather than go through everything from the beginning, I decided to post some of the letters that I have sent regarding the issues that I was experiencing. Once I reach the present, I will keep a daily log.

I have deleted the names of the persons involved, for the moment, since I am still trying to make things work. By the way, none of these letters have in any way helped. In fact, none have received a response, but I keep trying.

The UFT has been of no help; everything that I have managed to get resolved has been because I refuse to let this principal continue to create her own laws and continue her power trip. She is drunk with it and anyone who dares to question her practices just gets in her way. And, they pay. 

I am still paying.

                                                                                                                       2012

(Superintendent's name)

Superintendent District 12

Dear Superintendent,

     I am writing to you because I don’t know where else to turn. I am presently at (xxxx) High School under the supervision of (Principal's name). I have reached out to her and she has told me that she cannot help me.

     In July of 2011, I performed a demo lesson for Mr. (xxx), AP and Mr. (xxx), English Teacher. That afternoon, I was offered the job of 9^th grade English teacher at the school. I was very excited because I had tried teaching at the middle school level the year before, and realized that I preferred teaching the older students.

     I began in September teaching two English 1 classes, two English skills classes and one Honor’s English class. I was very happy to be in this school. The principal and AP seemed to be supportive and when it came to discipline problems, they seemed to be on top of things. I was able to walk into the Principal’s office and share my experiences and student work. Everything was going well, until…

     In October, the Principal and AP did a walk-through. That afternoon, the Principal and AP sat with me for a post observation and completely tore down my lesson. Not once did they say anything positive about my lesson! As I tried to explain myself and how English lessons are taught, they would hear nothing of it. I followed a lesson plan format that I have always used and the same one they hired me with. When I brought this to her attention she said, "No, here at (School name) we do things differently. You must follow the format we use and create a learning target and a criteria for success for every lesson." 

     I continued to express my thoughts and she said at one point,  “You frustrate me!” All through the post ob, I was intimidated and made to feel as if I didn't know what I was doing. (Principal) spoke to me loudly and coarsely and then threatened me with a U as a final rating for the year. She said that she would not recommend me for Tenure.

     At this, I quizzically looked at her and said, “I have tenure. What do you mean?” She became more upset and began saying how she was not going to go through this again. “I just went through this with a teacher who said she had tenure and she really didn't.” 

After this meeting, I was told to come back during my administrative period. I was so intimidated with our first meeting that Mr. (English teacher) offered to go in with me for support. 

     When we got to the door, she saw him and told him he couldn't stay. I expressed that I just wanted him there for support. She said, “Absolutely not!!” 

     For the next 40 minutes, I was intimidated, belittled, and treated as if I had no knowledge of English and teaching. She said she was holding me responsible for the kids who do not come to class and fail. I asked her for ideas on how I could possibly do this and she told me to be creative and figure it out. But, that she wanted to see those kids pass. 

     She sent me an email the next day. It was the Preliminary Recommendation page in the Tenure Notification System. She didn't appoint me under my High School license. This is where I am tenured. I explained this to her and she refused to acknowledge that a mistake was made.

     Since she was not willing to help me in this matter, I went to the union. This is when things really went bad between (Principal) and me. The union looked through the information and saw that a mistake was done. They said that not only was I teaching out of license, but that the school is out of compliance. They said (Principal) had two options: she could fix the mistake or she could excess me. This is when everything really deteriorated. I passed this information along to (Principal), who did not believe what I was saying and continued to tell me that there was nothing she could do. These conversations happened before the Christmas break.

     I tried to go on with my week and tried to speak with the (Principal) regarding the license issue. I tried several times until I caught her leaving her office and she told me that she had spoken to HR and they had said that there was nothing they could do about it. So, I asked her to excess me. She wrote me an email where she said that she understood if I wanted to go to another place. 

     I have not found any openings.

Sincerely,

(Me)

Second letter:

New superintendent. (I have no idea what happened to the first!)

(Superintendent's name)                                                                               2013

Superintendent D. 12

Dear Mr. (Superintendent),

     I am (Me). You extended my probation recently. I am writing to you to make some matters clear about me.

     I am a High School Tenured English teacher. I have been working for the DOE for 25 years. The bulk of my HS experience was in (xx) HS under (Principal) and then, (Principal).

     In the summer of 2009, I went to Arizona for a year. When I came back, I was hired at (MS-HS in Bronx). I was offered the 9^th grade ELA position but in September I was told that I would be teaching 6^th grade. When I expressed that this would affect my licensing (Principal) said she would have me on paper as the HS teacher since the 9^th grade teacher was a MS license. I figured it would be okay.

     In October, I found out that she had not done this and suddenly I found myself on probation for MS English. I reached out to several people including the union but to no avail. However, I was told that once I got a job at the HS level things would be fine.

     So, although I enjoyed working with the kids and parents (one actually wrote a letter of commendation to the Superintendent (xxx) and the Chancellor about me, I went on to the Open Market and was hired by (present school). I explicitly told the AP, (xxx) my situation and he said that there would be no issue and that I would be appointed under the HS license. Of course, this makes sense because I was hired by a HS.

     On my first informal walk-through in September, it explicitly said on my report “Tenured”. So, I didn't give it another thought. However, during a walk-through that they deemed “Unsatisfactory” I was threatened with a “U” rating because I was on probation. I explained how that could not be possible and that it must be a mistake. (Principal) said it wasn't. I asked her several times to please change my appointment to the proper license and she, on repeated occasions, told me she couldn't.

     This began a series of unannounced visits and several reprimands for a variety of things. I wrote to the Superintendent at the time and she never responded. I involved the union but to no avail.

     I was running a Drama Club after school and everything was fine. When I asserted myself regarding my situation, I was told on several occasions to cut the session short and leave the building. It happened so often that I finally cancelled the club. I was taken out of a Computer lab where the kids worked on Achieve 3000 because there were "claims" that my students were ruining the computers. And so on.

     Anyway, when I saw that all my lessons were being ripped apart and that I was being singled out, I told the Principal if she would release me or excess me. She said that she would not stand in my way but that she would not excess me. I used all of the information from NCLB and it didn't matter.

     I continued to be made to feel unwelcome at the school. When I was told that I would be getting another “U”, I grieved it. During this grievance meeting, I broke down and told (Principal and AP) how I felt. During this conversation, she made it clear that she could have changed my appointment but that she didn't want to. She wasn't sure if she wanted me in the school. However, I was reassured that I would not be discontinued, but that a “U” was in my future. So I asked again that I receive Pre and Post Observations, and I finally did. I received an S. Then came a walk-through and again I received an S. (Principal) softened somewhat and actually started speaking to me and saying good morning. I thought it was over.

     Then came time for the Tenure process and she said you advised her that my probation should be extended. So, she told me she needed to observe me again. She walked in on April 26. She saw the same elements for which I had been previously rated “S”. She rated the Walk-through “U”.

     I am being scrutinized and singled out. I come to work wondering what they will point out next. Although they claim to merely suggest elements they want in a lesson, they really expect them. I have incorporated everything they have asked of me and it doesn't matter.          I learned an entirely new way of presenting the lesson using the Learning Target and Criteria for Learning. Instead of seeing the progress, they focus on something else. They expect to see a group activity for every single lesson. So, even though every lesson does not lend itself to this practice, I reworked my lessons and do group and pair work. So now they find faults in that. I introduced Accountable Talk; she criticized my last lesson for too much accountable talk. They question the students and if one says they are working independently, they use it against me. Some kids prefer to work independently even when asked to pair up. That’s differentiation! Why am I being rated unsatisfactorily?  

     I am so frustrated. I get nervous every time they walk into my room. I feel harassed. I feel they are setting me up to receive a “U” rating at the end of this year. I really feel this is personal and I wish I didn't. I will go to another school, but who will hire me with a “U”? And, I do not want to ruin my 25 years of satisfactory service unfairly. What does this say of my former administrators who have, year in and year out, rated me “S” and placed me in positions of leadership? I have created curricula for electives, been a mentor, created programs and ran them successfully. I have been a Peer Mediator for an entire school campus. It doesn't seem possible that I am in this situation!

     I would like to meet with you regarding my situation.

Sincerely,

(Me)

It is the year 2014 and I am still awaiting a response to both these letters.

In my next post, I will share the letters I sent to the Chancellor. I actually just sent one to the new chancellor, two weeks ago. I haven't received ay correspondence.